I was approached by a business owner who sought mediation services to resolve a dispute with his son, both actively involved in the family business. Following consultations with legal, investment, and tax advisers, the father proposed a succession plan that included his gradual disengagement from the business and the extraction of cash and other assets for his retirement. However, this proposal led to disagreements.
Having handled nearly 400 mediation cases, my approach involves gathering information and documentation from the parties, identifying their interests and needs, anticipating settlement barriers, and exploring potential solutions. Initially, this case appeared no different.
Early observations revealed that despite their active roles, the father and son’s working relationship was dysfunctional, causing significant stress and disrupting the business’s management. Notably, their primary disagreement centred on the father’s succession plan, specifically on replacing his role post-retirement.
I suggested addressing their working relationship first. Both parties agreed, and our conversation focused on their poor conflict management, with behaviours that triggered negative responses in each other. We discussed how their choices in behaviour were contributing to the problem, examining constructive and destructive workplace behaviours.
We used the CDP online questionnaire to assess their individual conflict behaviours and values.
We also spent a lot of valuable time analysing and discussing the following chart:
| Conflict Responses | Constructive | Destructive |
|---|---|---|
| Active | Perspective Taking | Winning At All Costs |
| Creating Solutions | Displaying Anger | |
| Expressing Emotions | Demeaning Others | |
| Reaching Out | Retaliating | |
| Passive | Reflective Thinking | Avoiding |
| Delay Responding | Yielding | |
| Adapting | Hiding Emotions | |
| Self-Criticizing |
Family relationships, being deeper-rooted than workplace relationships, present unique challenges. However, with a keen focus on behaviour, both the father and son managed to reflect on their actions rather than blame each other. Their mutual passion for the business, albeit expressed differently, helped them choose to interact more constructively.
Instead of a generic mediation that likely would have failed, I worked with the company over a 12-month period. During this time, I chaired meetings and drove a pre-agreed strategic agenda to ensure the careful and timely transition of management from father to son. This tailored approach allowed the business to navigate the succession process successfully.
When I first met with the father he presented as a successful dedicated business owner for many decades with a worn copy of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie on his desk and espousing the virtues of “The Customer is King” by Fergal Quinn. He had strong values and implemented those well in his business. A number of years after concluding my work with the company I enjoyed a smile when browsing my LinkedIn Home Page to see the son pictured receiving a prestigious Business Award – just a matter of care and time.
